Sentimental

The past few weeks I've been feeling very lonely and like I'm spinning my wheels with Elsje. It seems that you work so hard for this little person, but they just have no idea what is really going on for them. I knew this going in...I understood that motherhood/parenthood was a very thankless job...and will be for awhile, or will it?

Elsje has always been a daddys girl. I don't know if she just gets sick of me and when Peter gets home, she's just SO excited to see someone else, or what her true feelings are. Either way, she loves her dad. She said DA DA first, she claps tons when he walks in the door, and hes the only one that will let her grab his whiskers. haha During my couple week "feel sorry for yourself"mode, I started thinking that maybe I should go back to work, or get a part time job or do something that I can feel I'm being successful at. But last night, I surprised Peter with tickets to the Utah Jazz charity basketball game in SLC. Elsje came with us, and of course it was a group of people that LOVE THEIR JAZZ! Needless to say, it got quite loud several times. Elsje wasn't a huge fan of this. Peter was holding her most of the night, but let me tell you, it made my heart feel too big for my chest when every time my little girl got scared and started crying, who did she reach for? Who did she feel safe with? Who was the only one that could really console her? Thats right, her mom. It just really put into perspective what I do everyday has an impact on my child. Lets just say I'm done feeling sorry for myself for no real reason. I'm done even thinking about getting a job. I'm done feeling like I don't matter. Here are some pics of Elsje, and the everyday things she does that perhaps I take for granted once in awhile.

Growing up so big and strong

Satisfied and completely independent

Curious and excitable

seriously? just plain cute

adventurous

I love you miss Elsje

xoxo

mom