The Adventure Begins

**Some information shared may be too much information for others, but I'm not to graphic.

I'm going to try to keep it together while writing this blog. I've had a pretty emotional day yesterday and this morning, and I'm pregnant, so that doesn't help matters. haha

I had a routine dr's appointment yesterday. Routine as could be anyway....you check in, pee in a cup, wait, get called in, wait more, then a quick check of the heartbeat and the dr is gone. This is how we all hope visits go. Yesterday I had several questions for the dr which led to a question from her; "are you having contractions with these other sypmtoms?" Yes was my response... "but I'm certain they are only braxton hicks. I'm really not concerned." "Well", she says, lets do a cervical exam since we are both here just to make sure everything is ok."

I wish after the exam she just said all was well, and to keep drinking fluids. Not so. She said that my cervix was open, I was dilated to a 2 and that I was 70% effaced. Not good at 31.5 weeks pregnant. I was devastated. I'm just not sure how this happened. My first question was, "is this my fault?" A question that I'm sure every mother at some point in their lives ask...probably more. I'm certain this isn't the last time I'll ask it anyway.

After all was said and done, the dr ordered me on bed rest till the baby gets here...she said she wishes the baby will wait till at least 36 weeks to make his big arrival, but she prepared me emotionally for a delivery in the next 2 weeks. I'm going to take it one day at a time....which is all that I can do for now.

I know for some people, this kind of a thing isn't a big deal. I know that some of you reading this are thinking, yeah, so what? Babies can be saved these days. I understand all of that, but for some reason, when it is your own child growing inside of you, that you have created and nurtured all this time, its different. Its different because you and only you will feel the responsibility of a possible premature baby, and that will be something you think about till they are grown and out of the house.

I'm glad for the opportunity to be a mom.....and I'm determined to help this baby no matter what situation he finds himself in. Good luck to all of us on that road to wherever we are headed......